depresserrrrrrr... than ever!

i am just so disheartened....more than ever in this lifetime. it's not even funny!
i wish there's a word for it...


miss you so much mah...

my latest big purchase!

for years we have been wishing to be stationed here in virginia. the timing was good because my mom had the chance to be close to family. it helped us a lot during that time, for her and arend and just the whole aspect of family being here. this time mom is gone, i have a big house with such emptiness. i miss her noise, her tv on all the time watching her judges in court at day time, game knb, wowowee, then back to judges in the afternoon, the nanny and golden girls usually at night until she falls asleep. i miss her pancit and pinakbet which i never learn how to cook her style. i miss calling her on her cel phone when i'm somewhere and just wanting to tell her about something, chismis or just a girl talk. i miss talking to you. at times i try to think that she's just abroad with my step dad. i miss her voice.
i miss you so much mah!
i am so glad we had a chance to spend all this time together thou. after so many years we've been apart. i feel so bad that deng didn't have this chance but it's kind of good for him since he said that he just thinks that she's just abroad.
so much pain, such a heartache, with no cure.

three years young

arend's cake.
he picked this one although it didn't match the theme!














my fireman son!



















awaiting his guest...