thanksgiving
ate bren and tito resty were here since thanksgiving, arrived at night while the barkada were already here at home celebrating. mama was transfered to bamc hospital the 19th friday for insurance purposes. she was already doing well just with tpn. had to continue for weeks, maybe months. she was out of bamc since 24th. i set up her tpn and give her medications. today was her second course of chemotherapy at bamc. the facility is nice.lot better than uhs. hoping everything will be fine. during her chemo, we ran to san marcos outlet mall to buy some stuff. unluckily,it was hard to buy stuff for myself. i got about 10 outfits for mama, with some shawls,bonnets and bag. mostly winter stuff. i did'nt get a chance to get anything for me,arend and pong. maybe next time. got a lot of things to do. i have'nt started my christmas shopping, maybe people will understand how busy i am. all my wish for christmas is my mom's health and as well as everybody that i love.

nov 9, ma got admitted in the hospital again since she developed a fistula (leaking stool through the vagina). she was under observation for few days, she developed some infection few days after admitted and was given antibiotics. her prognosis is guarded and may require prolonged chemotherapy and may require further surgery. her cancer that was left inside was just like a sheet or lining has gone bigger in just 1 month. it's as big as a fist now, i was told by dr hall. she's looking so much better now. got some fluids on her system,she's on TPN feeding through her porta-cath and may have to be on for months to let the fistula heel.she can't eat during this time, this might save her from having another surgery. pong's keeping me sane at this time. he's optimistic. just don't know what to do without him.

this week was rough, mom's been so weak and having excruciating generalized pain. friday was the worse, having a lot of vaginal discharge too which is not blood but brownish.then she was chilling, screaming and asking me if she's gonna die? so pitiful i gave her 2 vicodin and 2 tablets of her ativan right away. she rested after that then woke up after 5 hours. the next day, she just don't wanna eat, or no appetite and threw up once.i spent most time just crying and feeling sorry for her.
why is god so cruel? all her life she spent working for us, to give us a better life. she left far away and leaving us with relatives as guardians. now that i thought things are better and to for her to stop working,it's our chance to catch up and enjoy life. i have so much to say to her, things i want her to have that she never had a chance to buy because she has to work like a dog to just bring food on the the table.i wanna show her places i've been too. she just got here this year and now she's terminally ill. why her? she don't deserve this.

lil' devil
spent halloween at marissa's instead of just staying at home and giving out candies. found a little devil outfit for arend at halloween express just yesterday afternoon, the headed out trick-or-treating. today is mom's first course of chemo, she walked all the way from parking lot to outpatient oncology which is a long walk, wow! amazing! she had been better since she came back home, she even did our laundry. hope everything goes well, recovery and all!


anyways, here is my...

little devil