can you see the difference between the two boats in these pictures?...turn up your volume to hear the boats and water...look closely...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

arend's getting around a lot now. crawling all over the place,starting to climb stairs, gotta watch him coz he'll put every little thing to his mouth, and lala's so mad at him since he disturbs her with his sleep and while she eats. what a mess. my back's hurting from carrying him, he's so heavy now. he's 9 months and has his well baby check-up on the 10th of november. dang...time flies!
mama's going tomorrow for her chemo class then monday would be her first one as i was told by the oncology nurse. i'm working friday and saturday. i'll miss the trick or treat at the base. our initial plan was to have halloween party at jen's place but the base is helding it on the 30th instead of 31st. i don't have a costume for arend yet, i've been so busy. i don't know what to do yet this sunday. joy and marissa invited me for a party thou. we'll see.

dr archer, the oncology doc that sees my mom (he's so cute!), sparing partner of the doc specialist was insistant for my mom to get the porta-cath before her release. so she got it today, then her chemotherapy will start this week, maybe wednesday or friday. it will be every third friday. she was told of the side-effects like being prone to infection, lost of hair and not just on top but even brows and pubic,nausea and vomiting, etc,etc. i'm very hopeful of the good outcome of this therapy.
she's downstairs laying on the couch with my tita mila on the recliner. she's tired and was very hungry from not having food since last night for the porta-cath placement, she can't eat a lot thou. her incision looks good for the porta-cath. mama looks so tired and lost a lot of weight already from being sick.arend with me tonight, pong at work. just catching up with my blogging.

worked wednesday and thursday, tita mila had been staying with mom in the hospital all day. today i stayed there after i slept for few hours after work, took arend with me. mama looks so much better. her staples on her incision was taken out, her swelling is gone. eating better but still running low grade fever. she might go home this weekend. yay!

4 unit of blood and 2 units of plasma already given to my mom. apparently she had lost a lot of blood and fluids. mama's still running fever and on antibiotics thru her veins. she's eating now, peeing ok and moving her bowels fine. thank goodness. she's suppose to have porta-cath placement today but she's still running fever. doc wanna start her chemo supposedly tomorrow but no luck. she has to be free from infection and strong before starting it.
this point, only deng and daddy does'nt know about any of this happenings.mama don't want them to worry. tita mila flew in saturday. sweet!

i stayed in the hospital the night before and while mama's having her surgery. the waiting was devastating, it seems like it took a long long time. she was supposedly going in at 7am and they took her out of her room at 6am. at 10 while i was in the waiting area, nurse called for me, she's filipina, and said "we started the operation at 9, she's ok, we have'nt taken out any organ yet,she's fine but bleeding and she needs blood transfusion." i was ok to hear this but thing's were running thru my mind, will she be fine? what if she bleeds to death? what if..? then i called pong. i asked him to come, and he did even if he has to work that night. arend was left with pong's mom, she came sometime before mama got admitted for this surgery and i can't even remember the date.
after the surgery,the doc came to see me and pong right away. and said "the tumor was bad, and very big affected her pelvic, liver, part of her diaphragm, pressing on her colon, they found cancer to her small intestines but was able to take it out and she had a small hole but he managed to repair it. the cancer was so bad and it messed the uterus,blah blah blah (hard for me to register what he was saying,i already started crying) my plan of starting her on chemotheraphy a month after her surgery, has to be right away to stop these cancer cells from spreading. blah blah blah. you'll see her in but 2 hours,she's in recovery."
i was crying and crying during that waiting time. surgery was over at 2,then saw her back around 5.
today, mama still swollen and am worried since she's running fever. she's on morphine pump and resting most of the time. i watch her while she sleeps, she never sleep these much ever. she's insomiac. she's got 25 staples from above her belly button down to the pubic area. she can't eat yet.
am still crying.

mama's been admitted in the hospital since friday and tomorrow's the surgery day. they're cleaning her out, she can't eat and they're giving all these stuff to make her poop since friday. she's got fluids going thru her vein. she's craving for begokan, sinigang, milk shakes. nobody knows she's got carcinoma since she made me promise not to tell anyone yet hoping that it's contained and a simple hysterectomy would get rid of it all. but of course, me and my big mouth has to tell pong. sorry but can't help it. he's my better half, right? i pray everything will go well with her surgery.

we saw the tumor specialist yesterday and seems like the tumor is huge. mama needs to be operated. it's blocking on her colon and maybe other organs that's why her feeling of fullness and her tummy is getting bigger and bigger. actually at this point,since that day i took her to ER. her tummy grew 10 x more. she's like 7-8 months pregnant. she describes her pain as heavy and full. and from her previous exams, they did pap smear,biopsy of the mass,blood draws,cat scans,etc etc. they found out that she's got cancer. from this point, it's ovarian cancer and there's no telling how far it's gone. the main thing is, we have to get rid of it.
so the doc scheduled her for surgery on monday. all prep from friday. i just don't know what to tell mom except, there's hope and advance science.
i just don't know what to say...really don't know...

the appointment for my mom did'nt go thru yesterday, i did'nt know what to do since mama's having a lot of pain and very uncomfortable. she does'nt tell me but i could see her suffering. she's not eating much then still would go on with whatever housechores she has to do. but her bulge is getting bigger and she easily feels tired.
i called the ob-gyn emergency services and i was adviced to show up at the clinic tuesday and give this docs name that i was talking too, if they give me a hard time. her name was dra.allsup. i'm like, cool!